The sun finds me every day here
choking on a memory, i watch it
pass me by and leave me here
as i slowly fade away

the spray paint on the walls i put
in place begins to dry
the ink of the mayhem that ive wrought
solidifies on these bricks of apathy

Give me an aerosol ill depress the dispenser
Ill deface your indifference, ill paint you a smile
Youll be the allyways i stumble down
Ill be the destruction on your walls

The sillouhette I see of you
A dim reflection of a darker side
ive been seeing a little more these days
for a moment i saw through your intention

The shadows of another endless night
stare back at me through your lifeless eyes
ill ignite my cigarette in a tiny spark
ill incinerate this portrait youve drawn yourself

I see you look in the mirror as the days go by
give me a pencil, ill erase the shadows
I see the weight of the world resting on your back
give me a reason and ill open your eyes

atlas shrugged it off and the world came down
ive seen your face to the ground in the empty streets
the cracking paint on the crumbled walls
a shattered reflection of my broken complexion

these games we always used to play
just got the best of you and me
im just a stain on the wall youll never see
is this really all im supposed to be??!?!?

After Fridays volleyball against ToolGate, I ran over to see a the plethora of people that came to watch my game. My mother, brother, aunt, Tanya, her sister, Jaq, Joeli, Becky, and Emily...which was awesome, because my mother has only come to two of my games in all three years I have been playing.

Quickly I grabbed my things, and in a rush forgot my life in the Chariho gym, and still haven't gotten the things back from coach, because my mind has been elsewhere, but he tells me that he does have my pants, and necklace! We bolted down D hall, because I was so pumped to go up to Rehoboth to dance! In the process I nearly knocked over my aunt, Becky, and Emily...where the Andersons and I planned to get together the next night and I apologized for having to run out on them. Jaq fumbled with keys as I anxiously jumped up and down half in excitement, and half due to the cold wave running through my body. We jumped into the Saab, rolled down all windows, blasted 80's and sang all the way out of the parking lot. I did remove clothing, because I was burning up after my intense volleyball game, of two hours against Toolgate! I think I only mooned one car in MA, which was after I told Jaq to take a left turn ....down a one way rd....!!! All we would see was this black woman screaming at us and waving her fists, as we pulled over to turn around, hysterically laughing. We made it to the dance in one piece, where Jaq and I ran downstairs to pee. I hurried her along, after talking with the two little girls in t he world who were continually washing their hands in the sink and explaining how they are best friends. I looked to my left to see two figures on the window sill, which I immediately knew was Finn, and Chelsea. Propping myself up I jumped on Chelsea, turned my head, and said "hey Finn." She didn't let go for about ten minutes, and after a few shed tears, I introduced Finn and Chelsea to Jaq. It was funny, because earlier, Chelsea asked me if I was bringing my girlfriend, who she thought was Emily...but no.... I'm not dating any women these days.

In any event, the fun ran from outside, to downstairs library, to Chelsea house. After Chelsea broke in her shot glass I got her, the emotions were wild. We talked a little, and then the tears came. She ran outside, where Finn found her lying on the ground. A few things were discussed that I won't mention, because they really pissed me off how they differed, and how I found a few things out that I did not know would ever happen. I digress...the night continued where I passed out on a chair. I awoke, went running, and left... where Jaq and I discussed the events of the night, and this is probably where I got pissed, but ehh...its me, and I don't say mad, so on to Saturday.


Saturday I worked from 12-3, which was the suck!! I tooled around at my house, until around 8, Emily picked me up and we went and got stuff for the night from my friend. THANK YOU SO MUCH! We went back to the Andersons house, and I gave Beck the two books I got her for her birthday, where she replied "I'm glad you got me something I liked, so I didn't have to pretend I liked it," and I laughed. We hung out until around 11, where we took off for URI. The best part was Becky leaving for the Union, and Emily and I wrapping towels around ourselves to pee outside, without making it too obvious. Inside, we met up with Ian DG, and Pat! I also saw Maryella, Easy-E, Ron, and I think Jacob? Emily and I went outside to get fresh air, and sat on the ram, where this girl Catherine jumped up with us, and many people from RI-dnb took pictures of us "riding the ram." We went back inside, and dancing until around 5 in the morning, where the crowd fell apart, and slowly left. I ended the night, writing my number on Catherine’s arm, and hugging Jacob goodbye. All in all....great night! I passed out with Becky, as a conclusion.

Becky drove me home around 10am, and I got ready for work. After work, was volleyball, where I taught Mr. Capalbo how to play volleyball, because it was parent’s night. He was a coach many years ago, and the funniest part, was he taught me how to back set, and worked me all over the place. I loved it! Sean, Mike, Corrinne, and Alia picked me up after practice, and dropped me off. I passed out in bed, not interested in Monday’s classes.

So the deal is this

March 17th-scrimmage against Barrington where we won

March 19th-injury fund vs. westerly where we won
--Westerly kids are scared of any snow flake, and cancelled school. Our game then was postponed to the next day, Saturday morning. I had to call out of work, to play. We started off well, and won in three games. At the end of the third game, Kerry, made a call that would have been called either in or out, and she called it out where we got a point. The Westerly coach made a fuss, but let it go. After we won our game, the coach went right over to Kerry and started yelling at her for making a horrible call, and giving the game to Chariho. Coach Mayne say this and started yelling at him, because coaches aren't suppose to have any conversation with the players. So the refs got in the middle of the two coaches, preventing a fist fight. I left with my mother, and brother who were as shocked at me. Paul and I got into a snow ball fight, and he fell and got wet, which made me chuckle.

March 22-scrimmage against West Warwick where we won
--Last year, the refs had to clear the audience, because of obnoxious guys distracting Chariho players. This year was far from the last. The guys were again there, b ut not as loud. They made some rude comments when Chariho girls dove for the ball like "nice way to hump the floor you Charihos" and contridicting themselves by calling Missy a geek, and a moron almost simuntaneously.

March 24-first league game against Pilgrim where we won
--Suga, we kicked ass

March 26-against Toolgate(Toll Gate) where we won
--We schooled toolgate!

I have never had my friends of much of my family come to my vball games, but I guess since I play varsity all the time, they decided to watch. My mom, aunt, and brother came, along with Jaq Betty, Tanya and her sister, Joeli, Becky, and Emily! The first two games we played until the end, but couldn't drive the nail into the coffin, with two loses of 27-25. The third game, I came back full force to score multiple serving points, and we won t he game with 25- 15(I think). Our fourth game we won, and I don't remember much, but it was a battle of up and down, up and down. The fifth game is a tie breaker only to 15 and it is rally, so you really have to work hard not to screw up. I made two wicked bad errors at the end of the game getting TG to 14-10, but we let them screw up after a hit by outside, giving us the win!! A man, on the Chariho Board of Education was at our first home game of the season, and after our game came right up to our huddle to tell us that we were the first womens vball team to beat TG in 30 years.


As you can see, Volleyball has now taken over my life. Before games I try to do my homework, I read for Ap history on the bus, and after games I come home and pass out at no later than 10pm, but it is okay...for some reason, I don't mind all that much.

zee list of little things

so its been awhile....

since I've last posted
1. hypnotist show
2. changes with certain people
3. winterball reeemix
4. CCSP field trip
5. Adam came home
6. Got contacts
7. Kicked ass at tryouts
8. vball started
A. lost scrimmage
B. won the injury fund
9. Crystal came home and left a week later
10. Realized I want to go skinny dipping!!!

Bean Town--HAAAARRRVARD--Bonjour

1. Wednesday I took a nice day off from school and decided to go to Boston with Justin! The ride up was midly amusing and consited of finding a train station in Attelboro, waiting, going on the train, talking, and planning an afternoon of fun!!!

We arrived at South Station where I promptly called Noam to inform him that I was infact in town. He was shocked and upset, because he had a busy schuelde and I didn't know if he would be able to entertain Justin and I at all. After a short Chinese lunch we decided to take a hike out of the building and wander around Boston. The map outside did not do any help and as I looked up, I saw two large pillars introducing Boston's Chinatown. Justin and I begain our adventure walking in a couple squares around Chinatown. We walked past a store which introduced its consumers to a plethora of skinned animals hanging in the window front. I was amused, and joked about calling my mom to see if she needed anything for cooking.

After walking through many streets filled with coffee shops and stores, I got a call from Noam who directed me to come to Harvard, IMMEDIATELY! We ran frantically around to find the Arlington train stop and followed the directions to Harvard. Noam met us outside of the bus stop and gave Justin and I a grand tour of Harvard square. We spoke alittle outside of Au Bon Pain, and got drinks. I met Reed, who was a fellow Magic player and one of Noams roommates, and we went back to their dorm.

After Noams leave for class, Justin and I decided to hop on the train back to Attelboro and go home! Which we did....no surprise there except that I fell asleep as usual, and played Padiddle going home! End of story.


2. Thursday my french class took a field trip to TollGate to see a womans concert. I don't remember her name or would I have any idea about how to spell it anyways. I spent both the ride there and back with Katherine talking, and joking around. Getting there Katherine, Kaila, and I both noticed a girl dressed much like Corinne Southern would, as we saw her and many other gather on stage to play spoons to one of the songs. After a couple classic French songs the woman called for volunteers to dance and knowing me, I jumped at the opportunity with Jarrod Pierce.

The woman instructed the men to gather in a tight circle facing outward and the girls to make a circle around. "When the music starts the girls dance around the men however you wish, skipping, dancing, and moving all around." I was next the girl who I noticed earlier and leaned over and said "things could get alittle crazy with some of the girls here." She replies "yeah, I know...too bad they didn't have some girls in the middle" while exchanging sexual glances. I laughed nervously saying "Yeah, I know what you mean." As the music began I ran around, dancing "The Tom dance" and just "rock rocking it." We stopped and I grabbed this short guy and said dance with me, I know how to Waltz (which we were suppose to do). Instead of dancing, he looked at me, screamed and ran away. Oh, was I pissed...I walked towards him and as he ran away, I stopped, yelled at him...and just stood there for some time with my mouth wide open in shock. The woman sang, now switch your partners, and women in the middle. In my mind the plan was to dance with the girl who I talked to, but instead I stopped in front of Jarrod Pierce, and we ran to the other side of the stage, and I taught him how to waltz. We all jumped off stage very satisfied.

As each school was leaving, Chariho was already gathered outside. The girl and I both noticed each other making eye contact as she was walking down from the school. Casually we said our goodbyes. "Ciao" and I replied "See ya later, have a nice day." She boarded her bus, having her friends look at me, as she waved goodbye. I waved back, as Kaila yells "you are a chick magnet." I loved it...but too bad I didn't grab a number!

In any event!!!

"GATHERING OF FRIENDS" in Seans basement. The list concludes with: Alia, Mike, Kevin, Sean, Will, Adam, myself and soon to be fufilled with Jeremy!!

Alia is kicking everyones ass at DDR, and Will did great at End of the Century.

I would like to conclude with the following: sex... they all want it so this gathering shall be an orgy by the end of the night. Or not...ever!

Wop AND Cripple

Tuesday night I spent a rather lengthy time driving with Justin and Pat to URI. Justin attempted to push Pat out of the car because he insisted upon opening the door repeatedly. We hauled Pat around in his new wheelchair, rented a couple movies, and bought drinks from across the street. Justin and Pat ended up falling asleep around 4am, and I spent the night at Pats but fell asleep much sooner!

We rented a couple movies: "Robot Sex" aka Destiny turns on the Radio, Go, and Empire Records. A reoccurring thing in my life is missing things because of sleep. I slept through 3/4 of Go, and Empire Records so those I have nothing to say about.

But Destiny turns on the Radio was a ridiculous Tarantino movie in which he was a god-like character playing destiny for a couple of friends. I could not stop laughing about the suave moves played by one character, and the mess of a script but I finished the movie awake anyways, and stood open-mouthed after it had been shut off in an ignorant state produced by the stupidity of such a film.

I had never been to Pats house so I was informed of the rules:
1. Don't touch anything
2. Don’t' come in
3. Don't follow rule two
4. Don't talk to Ralph if you can help it

Leah didn't want to hang out with us...because it was a school night and she had work...sheesh, what a great student. We tried to tell her she a relative of Ian; she can't be capably of caring about school too much. But alas she didn't concur to a proposal to come and get her, another time I suppose!!

More adventures of Boston, Harvard, and a French Field trip later!!

I'M AT HARVARD!!!! WITH NOAM!!! WHOO HOOTTT!!

BriNGINg it back...

Wouldn't it be nice if we were older
Then we wouldn't have to wait so long
And wouldn't it be nice to live together
In the kind of world where we belong

You know its gonna make it that much better
When we can say goodnight and stay together

Wouldn't it be nice if we could wake up
In the morning when the day is new
And after having spent the day together
Hold each other close the whole night through

Happy times together we've been spending
I wish that every kiss was neverending
Wouldn't it be nice

Maybe if we think and wish and hope and pray it might come true
Baby then there wouldn't be a single thing we couldn't do
We could be married
And then we'd be happy

Wouldn't it be nice

You know it seems the more we talk about it
It only makes it worse to live without it
But lets talk about it
Wouldn't it be nice

--The Beach Boys