It wasn't the way you looked that set you apart. It was the way you thought, so many things I have adopted as my own, here so far from you. Like that way you had of connecting things as obscure as descartes' meditations and eminem (whom you secretly despised, you said you liked him as a 'cover'...no one who likes eminem could be gay, right?). or the rationalization you used in a vain attempt to justify the deadly things you did or the ways you hurt people. These are things I do now, things that are helpful but more dishonest than I'll pretend I used to be.