I've never felt a real part of my family even when I was younger, I had always been pushed away, or told that I was different. This holiday was undoubtably no different than any other. Two dinners, one on Christmas eve when kids hand out presents and I spend the night down by myself in the basement watching movies. The next night, continues to be full of arguments, and dinner with the entire family swarming around some roasted meat in a table, while 4 + dogs roam around aimlessly, keeping me amused for hours.

I have grown to adopt one particular part of my Aunt Sues living room for myself. The farthest part of the room holds a long couch, where I sit with my right foot under the left, hands wrapped around a book of some sort in efforts to block out and unneccessary comments. Occasionally I would glance up and free my ears to the sounds around the house, only to find some pointless ramble about town gossip which proves unsophisticated to me, and usless information. However, I must sit there for hours trying to contain myself under the pressure of bitch slapping one or more of my relatives. Soon I will be able to return to the comfort of my own home. Ahh....no more chinese crazy talk, or druken females rambling about lost love!!! *smiles*